Ups and downs

It is been like 16 days already...
There are a lot of sweetness and craziness but also there are a lot of troubles going through...
Lovey-dovey with each other and imagining things that what we will do when we meet up.
All being so fantasy, I feel so much happiness and longing...
Every night have been imagine I could just cuddle at you close.
But can that all become real?
Or it is just another fantasy of ours?
You being so lovely whereas I am being such a plain girl...
Am I really deserve you?
Where is my self-confident?
I guess it never exist in me...
Such a pathetic lady I am because I feel threaten by random girls because I think they are way better than me...
Then I start to feel shit about myself and ruin everything...
Just because I don't help myself, I blame on others...
Fuck it really...
Hate myself so much...