Something bothering me...

I don't know if being a hypersensitive person is a gift or a curse...
Something bother me for a long time, I thought I could brush it off but I don't think I can...
Just now something happened and that triggered my long suppressed of bad feeling...

I am pretty sensitive on how people think of me.
I can notice and sense their disapproval if I did something they don't like.
So I tried to avoid making any mistake and prevent people from hating me.
Or so I thought I did it, but not for one person, which is one of my roommate.
It is pretty tough to keep up with my roommate approval level.
Most of the time, I can feel that I made her hate me even more.
But she doesn't show it out of course, I just feel it and I don't mean to make her hate me...
Well, both of us is like day and night, black and white, heaven and hell as well as oil and water...
Both of us have totally contradict personality I must say...
She is the early bird, the studious type, healthy and quiet person.
While I am the night owl, the lazy type, unhealthy and loud person.
It just happened that we have stay next to each other for a year now.
I really don't have much complain about her, other than having totally different sleeping pattern.
But I don't really mind about all that, I am easy going type of person and I respect her.

However, I don't think she thinks the same as I do.
Well, maybe I am just very suck and bad person to a point she might hate me so much but couldn't get rid of me quickly...
She slept pretty early at 10pm but to be honest I can't really sleep at that moment...
I am fully awake and if I follow her time with no sleeping at all, I am wasting my time @@
So most of the time I will stay up to maximum 12am (same as the others roommates).
Actually if possible, I don't even want to sleep after 12am but I can't because she is a light sleeper.
I know she didn't sleep until I off my light...
She woke up pretty early too, which is at 6am.
I will know it is around 6am because she will open the lights and boil water.
The sound of boiling water is kinda loud, so yeah that wake me up all the time...
Sometime when I got work to do until 2 or 3am, wake up at 6am is pretty tiring...
Personally, I don't really dare to boil water if people are sleeping...
Anyways, I am not really care if she woke me up with that loud noise.
I remember last time when the principal in my hostel posted a notice about changing room form.
I clearly heard that she wanted to change room and stay with her friend.
I didn't surprise if she did that but I feel pretty bad because I am so bad to a point that make her leave from this room...
I just follow the other 2 roommates and sleep at 12am...
I tried everything I can D:
Oh other than that, I guess recently I have been sounded by her for using mouse...
Actually not the first time, I tried to avoid using mouse for many time.
Hmm, I don't really like to use mouse pad on the laptop because it is a bit of troublesome if you are editing and dragging something...
Recently I just use it because I need to edit something so apparently, I was being begged by her.
She literally begged me for not using the mouse.
I used the word 'beg' because she sent a lot of private message in my WhatsApp telling me to please don't use the mouse and emphasizing the please.
Well, I actually just sitting behind of her...
I feel really terrible after that, I mean I didn't mean to disturb her that way to a point that she need to beg me for not using it.
She did say sorry a lot of time, it is not her fault and I didn't blame her on that.
It is all my faults and that make me doubt about myself (I am very sensitive to that TT)
I feel bad, really bad of myself D:
My other 2 roommates were using mouse as well...
So apparently only mine was disturbing her...
Lastly, just now she left the room to her friend's and I guess maybe because I was discussing with my other roommate about mathematics.
And that made her left because I made her unable to focus...

It is just that I feel so horrible because I cannot be her best and perfect roommate...
I tried to avoid disturbing her at all cost, I even walked slowly and quietly most of the time.
I don't laugh that loud when reading something online.
Well maybe I ain't good at all...
Suck me...
Today not much of progression because this thing bother me so much...
I should've study instead of self-pitying here.
Well, just let me being depress for another moment...
I hope tomorrow will be alright and I continue my study...
All the best for me, ciao!