Rambling

The night is still young.

Argh, I shouldn't have take a nap during the evening.

I never take a nap, I hate nap because headache arise after nap.

However, I still took it just now.

Total regret, stupid me ==

I am damn wide awake now thanks to that.

Outside is freaky windy now.

It is chilly, I love how quiet it is.

So tranquil.

But I hate the fact that the haze is likely coming soon.

I keep smelling hazy smell, I hate that so much.

Suffocating smell.

Plus the weather is really hot for the whole week.

I am sweating.

It makes me doesn't want to do anything at all.

As a heat intolerance person, this is consider torture...

Though there is no rain at my housing area, I know some area did rain the past few days.

Is this housing area is being curse or what?

Because the weather always incongruent with other area.

When other area is raining, my place doesn't rain.

But when other area is sunny day, my place will be having thunderstorm.

Just like how last year, I am fighting through thunderstorm when going to school.

Almost wet my whole uniform while entering the car, but when I left the house to school.

The place is dry as a desert :3

Weird weather.

Anyhow, I just hate hot weather.

I can't stand the heat.

What am I going on with the weather right now, is not like people will care about it anyways.

Okay, what have I been doing recently?

Simple two words: Soul searching.

I have been doing everything and anything to find what will make me happy.

But one thing for sure is that I kinda dislike checking message.

I just don't see the point of checking my message.

What's the point of spending time in front of a screen?

It is so hard to know or guess what's going on with the person on the screen.

You don't know if she/he is really happy or having trouble in life.

You don't know if she/he is telling the truth or faking it.

You just don't know all about that because it is just bloody screen with texts.

Unless you read about how to analyse texts, then it will be perfect.

But no, I am no expert.

I am kinda tired of guessing what is on the other side's mind.

Really prefer to have people in real life, not some kind of texting.

This feel wrong, I feel wrong.

People is evolving but I guess I am not, because I refuse to.

Is it too dumb to have such thought?

I used to be the little one in my family, I have brothers but no older sister.

One day, I acknowledged someone that is older than me a year.

We became classmate.

To be honest, I like having an older sister.

She taught some life lessons or hacks that I didn't know.

Though it should be mother's job but nahhh.

She never give up on anything.

It is weird that most of the class hated her.

Is it because she is older than us?

I never understand them.

Having hatred behind each other back.

I even wonder if they ever hate me behind my back too?

But is not like I care anyways, just curious.

So we spent most of the time study together.

She always cook lunch/dinner for me if I stayed up too late.

I feel bad for having free lunch/dinner.

Even though I tried to pay back, she never accept it.

It is a simply dish she said, but to me it is really delicious, it feels like home.

However, all those only last for a year.

After that, everyone move on to their own path, she too.

I really wish to spend time with her again but thing has changed.

She has someone else with her now, her beloved boyfriend.

I guess I am no longer in the picture now isn't it?

She is so busy with her life, so I said to ring me if she is free.

However, I guess that is the end of it since there is no more message from her anymore.

I saw her last week at the school, I didn't expect she came to school the same as I did.

Such coincidence.

She is close yet still far away.

Feel slightly disappointed that everything might end just like that.

This is why I hate having strong attachment with someone.

It will never end well if both parties no longer together in the same page or there is a third person.

No matter how, it will just end like that.

Okay, speaking of doing everything and anything.

I freaking love watching movies/TV-series.

I never know it is so much fun in it.

Last time, I used all my time with tuition and extracurriculum.

I seldom watch movies/TV-series much, not until recently.

I have tons of time to spend!

I just couldn't get enough of those with Tim Roth's or Benedict Cumberbatch's movie/TV-series.

I will never forget the Kingsman too!

They are just too crazy, it is just an act but still I love it!!!

Currently addicted to Sherlock Holmes season 4, tomorrow I will be finishing the last episode.

I finally understand why Farhana (my ex-classmate) was so freaky excited about Sherlock that time.

Haha I feel her finally XD

However, I just don't understand why they love to cancel those good shows.

All the shows I love mostly cancelled huhu...

Such as 'Lie to me' and 'Deception' and so much more!

Sad...

Just finish Infinity War and damn the ending was like what the fuck, cliff hanger.

I saw a korean drama seems good to watch, called 'A Korean Odyssey'.

Fantasy, romance and a bit mixed up with Sun Wukong's story.

Just watched second episode on TV, seems cool so maybe should try to watch it next.

Other than watching TV-series/movies.

I love freaky cliche 13 years old girl romance story in Wattpad.

Hate to admit it but yes, I damn love it!

Oh gosh, what have I done when I am at 13 years old!

Where is the fun huh?!

Dude, 13 years old of me really doesn't have any fun don't I?

As in cliche, I mean really really cliche.

Just finished a trilogy of Mafia story last few weeks, the first and second book are freaky awesome.

But I am so so so disappointed with the ending huhu.

It feels like the author ended it quickly and the ending has too much gap and missing details.

Well, it is indeed a good trilogy but sadly has a disappointing ending.

But thanks for giving me a wonderful roller coaster ride for the past few months.

Indeed my life is spiced up because of that.

Currently reading a book that is given by my friend named <Far from you> by Tess Sharpe.

It is a thriller and mystery book.

Summary:

....

Nine months. Two weeks. Six days. 

That's how long recovering addict Sophie's been drug-free. Four months ago her best friend Mina died in what everyone believes was a drug deal gone wrong - a deal they think Sophie set up. Only Sophie knows the truth. She and Mina shared a secret, but there was no drug deal. Mina was deliberately murdered.

Forced into rehab for a drug addiction she'd already beaten, Sophie's finally out and on the trail of the killer. But can she track them down before they come for her?

...

This is actually a good book.

Reading half way still trying to know what happen and who is the killer that killed Mina.

But it is hard to continue reading because everyone including Sophie's parents believed that it is hers fault.

Because they thought she want to get drug but the drug deal went wrong, caused Mina's death.

However, Sophie is clean as a whistle.

I hate being in a situation where you are clean but people accused you for something that you never did.

I still want to know who is the killer!

Moreover, I actually did some piano practice too but recently I stopped for a moment.

I downloaded an app to help me with piano basic, maybe it is too hard for me to catch up.

So I leave it awhile, taking some rest.

I stopped my Japanese/French learning for weeks now.

Too hard to catch up, too much to remember.

But I still want to learn it though...
Been trying to figure out what happen to my laptop's battery too.
It is draining freaky fast without doing anything.
Sooner or later might fix it maybe...

Well, I spent most of the time myself, is it even healthy @@?

I am bored at home but I got no where to go too.

Actually even staying up late night is consider unhealthy.

My face is full of pimples now because of weird sleeping habit.
Ouch, it is 5 now and I guess I have been rambling too much.

See you next time!

Ciao~