Inner thought #1

What's up guys :)

This will be very quick and short about how I really feel right now(might change all the time)

Before that I just wanna warn you that there is nothing special (mostly boring/annoying stuff)

So if you don't want to die of boredom, is time to get your 'mouse cursor' out lol.

Well, I have studied form 6 for almost 10 months already.

In this 10 months, I have realized that all kind of people are existed in here. 

The silent types, the weird ones, the crazy ones, the super high types and last but not least the fucker types :3

Truth to be told, it is quite fun to hang out with all those people, I am really enjoying it :)

But for certain reasons, I always feel like I am out of the grid (not just with them, anyone around me too)

Every single time, I have a feeling that I can't fit in the group, even though I am in a group.

Maybe sometime because of I can't really understand what's their jokes are about.

Sometime is because I have no knowledge about it (because when I was young, I read nothing D:)

So all the time, what I can do is to just laugh, answer yes/no/yah/ohh/cool/geng/amazing/wow/...

Well, I actually wanted to talk more about it, share something, crack a joke, prank people, talk cock with everyone just like how they do all the time.

But I don't seem a way to do it, I have nothing in me which I can share.

Since then I started to read random stuffs, I really wish that someday I can overcome this issue.

I am always the normal/uncharacteristic/shy person.

Which people might tend to forget about me after few years without contact(?)

Just like a character in The Lego Movie, Emmet (which is a completely ordinary lego mini-figure, insignificant character from the beginning lol)

I really feel kind of sad when I see everyone joking around so normally which I myself can't do it (sometime I can do it but most of the time I can't as I feel very awkward...)

I have tried to be as crazy/hyper/fun as them but mostly I got panicked and I just laughed like a weirdo :3

I know very well that I should not think about all these useless stuffs, but still I can't get over it.

I don't really know myself much, I don't even know who I really am, what special characteristic I have?

What things/stuffs I really like? What represent me? What am I?! (I feel lost =3=)

lol, I said it will be very short and quick but... (haha well is shorter than before right? :3)

By the way, who is still reading this, thanks for wasting your precious time for this lol!
-peace out and night night!-



For an unrelated topic(short diary), today I have acted stupidly as I didn't say it clearly what I really want and directly hurt someone's feeling :( I am truly sorry, I will make it up next time and promise that nothing like this(without saying clearly) will happen in the future...