I am lost.
Can anyone direct me to the right path?
Who is willing to help me out?
Recent night,
There's lots of feelings in my heart,
lots of thought in my mind.
I felt lonely, sad, depressed...
I feel like I am going to lose everything.
Confident.
SPM is on this November.
I am so scare.
I don't even know I can score in SPM.
I am not sure whether I can achieve my ambition.
Everyone were asking about what I am gonna do after SPM,
I had told everyone I wanted to be a doctor.
Yet, I feel like I am just "cakap besar".
Now, I can't even solve a common additional mathematics questions.
My mind can't move.
I can't even focus during the class.
I can't understand what teachers saying too.
I feel so blur during the class.
Friends.
Am I doing somethings wrong recently?
Or I am the one who think too much?
Every time chatting with friends.
I am the one who keep talking.
I feel so stupid.
I seem so annoying.
I keep finding topic so that I could chat more with friends.
Yet, I guess I am wrong.
Message I had sent.
Seen but no reply.
It feel like a knife stabbed in the heart deeply.
Whenever I feel so sad,
I wanted to express my feelings but I don't know how to say it out.
Even thought I say,
no one could understand what I am talking about.
Family
I don't even know how to start.
Every day they just quarrel.
Since that days happen,
My family is broken.
I can't find my lovely parents anymore.
The day I admitted to hospital.
I feel my life become more peaceful than usual.
I know I had make them worried.
But, they both together taking care of me without any quarrel.
How great is that.
Recently, my thyroid is getting well.
They started to quarrel again.
Getting worst and worst everyday.
Sometime, I even thought that one day they might divorce.
Then, I have to choose which I wanted to stay with.
I am so terrified.
I don't even want them to divorce.
I want to stay with them together and forever.
Every night I feel so scare,
I am scare I will lose everything.
I hate it so much!
I don't like the nights!
